What a month! It seemed like Easter was just the other day. Just yesterday we celebrated Mother's Day here in Australia. I love this day and my children always get so excited to make the day special for me. This year however I was reminded, again, of the daunting task that mothering can sometimes be. Mothers are stretched in all sorts of ways and for the most part, this stretching is refining and it makes us better people. Sometimes, this stretching is hard and exhausting which can make life seem like a lot. Mothers are pulled in all sorts of directions with constant demands. Sometimes it can seem like life has been hijacked.
However, something that overrides all of this is.... LOVE! Love as a mother can be difficult to define. I think it is somewhat of the divine. For me, no matter how challenging parenting can be and how often I would love to just take a break, disappear for a little while in peace, the one thing which keeps me coming back for more (chaos) is LOVE.
When I became a mother for the first time, we had been married for just over a year. Looking back, it didn't seem that quick but when I think about it now I realise how much changed in a very short space of time. Motherhood was hard. Everything about those early days was hard. I don't remember sleeping much, I felt like a mess, I don't remember when or if I had a shower... I was a living zombie. BUT... I knew what I wanted and I knew the type of mother I wanted to be. I knew it was going to be hard and I knew it would take time to understand my changing role from professional to stay at home mum. I worked way harder at motherhood than anything else I had ever done before because I had a little human who was relying on me and whom I loved with my entire soul. Together with my husband, we made plans and developed goals and little by little, over the years we have seen our family grow from 1 to 2 to 3 and now 4. We have seen our homes go from a tiny flat to a four bedroom house. I've seen hubby go from a parking attendant to a successful corporate lawyer. In life terms, this all seemed to happen very quickly and when I think about it now or I look back on it, I am filled with complete joy but also sadness. The sadness comes because those moments are over. My early days of motherhood were hard but they were also amazing. I loved the walks we would go on, the story time, the cooking, the playing... everything I did was because I loved another and put their needs above my own. I would do it all again if I needed to.
So, whoever is reading this, yes, life is so hard. We are trying to do things we have never done before and that in itself is a miracle. BUT.. I want you to know that there is joy in the journey. They won't be babies forever and one day, you will really miss that. There are so many cliques about life but most of them are true. Life goes by too fast and if you blink, you may miss it. Take whatever moments you can capture to be with your loved ones. Forget about the computer or the work or the cleaning. Just spend time together and you will create a most magical life. Sure, the dishes and washing need to get done and they will but don't ever forget what matters most and that is the ones we love, the ones who are counting on us. What matters most is what last longest and that is family. I hope I have many decades left to be with my little people and many many more moments to cherish. I want to fill my heart with the very best of what love means.
This year on Mother's Day I posted a short clip from a movie called, 'The Adam Project'. In this clip Adam, who has gone back in time, meets his mother in a bar. She doesn't know that this man is her adult son. She is there because life is hard. She had lost her husband in an accident and her son, Adam, is a teenager and she is struggling with him. It's a beautiful interaction they both have- well done scriptwriters! The standout for me is a reflection on what would my adult children say to me if they could travel back in time. How much do we parent out of fear of future choices and how much do we parent out of love? Just love them.
What does Adam say to his mum? "I have the best mum!" It's a wonderful moment of a life lived to look back and say, "I have the best mum" but it's even better to know it now and tell her today. Let mum know.... you have the best mum!
From all of us at Home Centred, Happy Mother's Day!
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