Have you ever watched the show, Undercover Billionaire? The premise is that a successful entrepreneur is placed in a random town in America without any of their resources such as their name, their appearance, their money, their phone, their contacts etc. They have only $100, a very basic car and a tank of petrol. They have 90 days to build a company from scratch which boasts a valuation of $1 million at the 90 day mark. In the first series, Glenn Stearns takes on this challenge. In series 2, it's Grant Cardone, Monique Idlett-Mosley and Elaine Culotti. You will have to watch it to see how they go! Undercover billionaire introduced me to Grant Cardone who is the CEO of several companies and a real estate investor as well as an author and motivational speaker.
This past week I came across a post on facebook by Grant Cardone. It simply said,
"Worry about who you impact. Not who you impress."
I thought about this in relation to events in my own life. Those we spend the most time with are the ones most likely impacted by us or whom we have an impact on. As a stay at home mum my greatest impact is on my children and my husband. Do I worry about my impact on them? Certainly. As part of my role as a mother it's important that I do have an impact and that it's the right impact.
What is the impact of a mother? Tanya O'Shea, Managing Director, IMPACT Community Services explained,
"The ripple effect of a mother's influence in society is vast, therefore when mothers are empowered and supported, they can positively impact their families, communities, and even the world. Mothers who prioritise education, for example, often raise children who value learning and go on to make significant contributions to society. Mothers who advocate for social justice and equality help to create a more just and equitable world for their children and future generations."
What am I prioritising as a mother? What are the lessons, spoken and unspoken I am teaching my children?
In thinking about a mother's impact, I came across this interesting study from 2016 by Stanford University, USA. "Researchers used magnetic resonance imaging and found children could identify their mother’s voices within a clip of various nonsense-word recordings with 97 percent accuracy. Mothers’ voices also ignited critical parts of the children’s brains, including the primary auditory cortex, the amygdala, the mesolimbic reward pathway, and the default mode network. These regions deal with how we process sounds, emotions, what’s valuable, and information about the self.
“We didn’t realize that a mother’s voice would have such quick access to so many different brain systems,” reflected lead author, Daniel Abrams."
Another study found that "a mother’s influence resonates both physically and mentally. Maternal support, in turn, affects brain size. In a 2012 study, scientists found school-aged children who were positively supported by their mothers had a larger hippocampus than those who were not. The hippocampus is a layer of densely packed neurons and plays a major role in learning and memory."
There is a definite science and biology behind parenting and the impact of a mother goes far beyond simply influencing music taste or providing a healthy meal. So, do I worry about my impact on my children? Yes. I should.
"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito." -Anita Roddick, the late founder of The Body Shop.
The other part of Grant Cardone's quote reminded us not to worry about "who you impress". I'm quite sure I'm not impressing anyone but I know we can all fall into this trap sometimes if we are not careful. I thought about this quote in relation to the idea of 'home'. In transforming a house into a home are we focussed on those who live there or those who are visiting? Are we focused on people or things? Why do we have certain things in our home? Who are we trying to impress?
I had a friend visit me last year and I apologised for the state of my home. I had been in the process of folding the laundry when she visited. She simply said, "I'm here to see you, not your house."
Marie Kondo, a famous Japanese 'tidier' says we need to have only items in our house which bring us joy. I believe there is truth to this. I know from experience that clutter and chaos do not bring me joy and a way I clear the clutter is by minimising what I own and making deliberate choices about what I bring into my home, making sure that everything has a place. I don't buy things to impress people, I buy things because they have a purpose such as bringing me joy or filling a need.
Another word for impact is focus. I think Russell M. Nelson said it best when he said,
"The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives."
I've designed this quote for you to print out and place in your home as a reminder for you to think about your focus and design your home and your life around the people that matter most.
So, whilst you are reading this, you might be looking around at chaos or clutter, you might hear children 'playing' or dogs barking but whatever circumstances you find yourself in, it's in the focus of our lives that we find joy, no matter how hard or challenging life might be right now. It's never really in stuff. It's in people and it's in the people who we have influence with.
Here at Home Centred, it's never been about the 'stuff'. It's always about creating a place and a space which reflects the life you want to have. It's about being intentional with your resources to build a life you love. These things do take time and patience but when we focus on the right things, our lives truly are filled with joy. I love helping individuals and families to create systems and process which make life easier because I know that it can be easier.
Reach out to me today on email or via our socials, if you would like to refocus and bring more joy into your home life.
xoxo Emily
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