Hello! This is a challenging blog post to write because I don't really know where to start. A lot has happened since I last posted about 'Life on a Bedside Table'. It was really wonderful to see and read about all your reflections surrounding the symbolism of your own bedside tables. Thanks for sharing. I had a few ideas about what I could write this week. I'm a pretty reflective person and there has been a lot happening I could write about. I won't bore you with the details but my son spent some time in the intensive care unit (ICU). Whilst he was there I had a visit from a social worker to see how I was doing. This is pretty standard for families with children in ICU. We spoke a little about the situation at hand and I was well aware of what she was about to ask me:
"How are you doing?"
This is a pretty common question. I wonder how many times today you have already been asked this or you have asked someone else. I've always been pretty open and I'm happy to let people know I'm doing pretty well and thanks for asking. What they are really saying is, "I know life is hard right now. How can I help?". Most of the time, just the question is enough and there isn't much that anyone can do to fix certain situations. It's just the nature of mortal life. In the ICU the social worker followed up her question with,
"What are you doing for yourself?"
Well, I had an answer for that one! I had been in a a funk for a couple of weeks but 2 weeks before my son got sick I had started back on my spin bike and reading a chapter each day. On the back of research about the 100 hour rule, I decided that I was simply going to ride my spin bike each day for 30min. That was the goal, nothing more, nothing less. I wasn't connecting it to weight loss or a health kick. I was just going to crank the music and bring on the endorphins. And I did. Then I would read a chapter from my scriptures. I could then start my day being physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready.
I know I've spoken about daily habits before but these seemingly little tasks accumulate to become anchors in your life. For me, I think the fact that I have anchors in my life, that carried me through the last few weeks and I felt peace and calm. I didn't feel any chaos even though I'm sure it looked pretty chaotic at times.
Daily habits are different for everyone. It all depends what you want and what you are seeking. What are you doing for yourself? Being mindful of yourself helps you to be mindful of others and your relationships flourish. You are better able to help, to serve, to love.
If it has been a while, do something for yourself this week. It might be a big thing or a little thing but do it anyway. Then think about moving forward. Do you have positive habits in your life which will sustain you when trials come? And they will come. These positive habits will fortify your life when things get hard. Perhaps you have some less than positive habits. They are hard to break but try replacing them with something that is better for you.
Have you heard of happiness hormones? I came across this recently. These are hormones which bring pleasant feelings or emotions. With my new spin bike habits, I can tell you, happiness hormones are real. We all have four happiness hormones: (click on each one to learn more from Harvard Medical School)
Happiness hormones are critical hormones our body uses to navigate life. We need each of them at different times. Our body should naturally tap into these chemical resources when we need them but there are certain things we can do to encourage more of these. In a study from Harvard Medical School they said there are many things we can do to boost these chemicals our brain.
"There are many natural ways to increase levels of feel-good hormones in your brain, including with diet, exercise, and by spending time with the people you care about."
“Your feelings are unique, but the molecules that convey them are the same in everyone. Your life experience is unique. However, there is one thing all life experiences have in common: every brain aims for its own survival.” -Loretta Breuning
Loretta Breuning, PhD, the author of “Habits of a Happy Brain” taught that it is possible to build new circuits of happiness through new habits
So, the next time you are feeling weary or tired, check in with your happiness hormones. Consider doing a task which will activate one or more of your happiness hormones. For me, most of this revolves around my home and what I do in the home. I love to organise, clean and sort. Checking those tasks off increases my dopamine. I love riding my spin bike, that checks off serotonin and add my awesome soundtrack and I have endorphins covered too. Having a home date night with hubby increases my oxytocin.
Use this chart to set some goals. In each happiness hormone area, set one goal about what you will do that week or that day to increase the happiness hormones. You can print two copies, one for the week and one for a day. Then put this in a place you will see as a reminder.
I love this quote from Harold B. Lee. It's a good reminder that our happiness hormones matter and there is a lot we can do to increase our happiness, despite our circumstances which can be challenging at times, as it has been for me recently.
My happiness centres around my home and what happens there, including my own personal habits. Being home centred is an anchor for me. Thanks for sharing my journey with me. No matter what life is bringing for you right now, I know that if can focus on the things that matter most, the people that matter most, we can get through anything.
As always, reach out on socials or on email at home-centred@outlook.com. Let me know how you go with increasing your happiness hormones this coming week and how that helps you to be home centred. Of course, I still love seeing your beautiful bedside tables ;)
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